Unraveling

I know it's been several days since my last post.

It's just that we've really been struggling with a couple of my children lately.

Big Guy and Little Guy have been doing really well; Big Guy is gearing up for finals, and Little Guy just started a new class at preschool designed to meet his higher intellectual level.

No, it's my other kids - Sis and Middle Guy - that are giving us problems.

Sis is our beautiful teenager who has never given us a bit of trouble. She is intelligent, outgoing, and a very talented athlete. However, in the past couple of months we've seen some attitude changes at home, and a sharp decline in her scholastic performance. In fact, there have been a few of weeks where we've been notified that Sis has had an "F" in a couple of her classes. We sat down with our daughter and tried to figure out what's going on. Although we strongly believe she would never do drugs, we addressed the issue and feel that Sis was honest with us when she told us she is not - and never plans to - use drugs. After speaking with her in depth, my husband and I feel that perhaps she is experiencing some depression. Things have improved a bit for now, but if Sis begins to struggle again, we plan to seek professional help.

Middle Guy is our active, creative, and sensitive seventh grader. He has a zest for life coupled with an extremely fertile imagination. He is a very likable kid, so it was very troubling for us when he began to come home from church youth activities acting very upset. This went on for several weeks before he finally opened up to us, admitting he was constantly being bullied by some of the older teens. My son was afraid of looking like a tattle-tale; his purpose in telling us was that his attempts to stop the bullying had failed, and he honestly didn't think he could take it anymore. My heart ached as I watched my son cry brokenheartedly while relating the cruel things some of the bigger boys were doing and saying to him. This behavior had escalated from isolated incidents to happening on a weekly basis, so my husband and I felt like it was time to intervene. We sat down with the youth leaders to come up with a plan to ensure that proper supervision is in place during these church activities, as the bullying happens when adults aren't around.

Because Big Guy and Little Guy have special needs, I rely on my middle children to be the grounding force in our family. It has been quite unsettling these past weeks as we've dealt with some major issues with Sis and Middle Guy. I feel like our family is starting to slowly unravel, and it's taken all of my energy to keep things from falling completely apart. I know things will get better; until they do, I've decided to cut down on the number of posts for this blog. I'll probably check in briefly about once a week during the holidays, and hope to return to more frequent posting sometime in January.

Thankful Thursday

Life has been so crazy lately that I've neglected to post some of the good things that are going on with our "Aspie" boys.

Big Guy is gearing up for the end of his first semester of college. Things have gone well once we got the math class fiasco behind us :) In fact, Big Guy is at the very top in two of his classes - English 2010 and History. He has also been picking up more hours at work, allowing him to save more money towards achieving his goal of living on his own next fall.

Little Guy continues to do amazingly well at school. I had the opportunity to observe him in class yesterday, and he was exceptionally cooperative and had very few meltdowns. I believe that much of this is due to the fact the classroom is very organized and predictable; Little Guy responds very well to routine. The one concern is that Little Guy is not being challenged enough with his higher cognitive level. Apparently, there have been a few other children recently admitted to the school with similar profiles, so Little Guy's teacher will be starting a new class for these children in a couple of weeks. It's gratifying to know that my son's strengths are being addressed, as well as his areas of delay.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I hope all of you had the chance to sit and reflect on the blessings in your life. I know I have so much to be thankful for, especially concerning the progress my Aspie boys are making.

Transition Story

I've talked before about social stories and how they can be a useful tool in helping kids with autism spectrum disorders cope with new situations. This is the story I crafted for Little Guy as we prepared for his transition to the preschool. I kept it very simple and direct, using familiar routines he could build on and relate his new experiences to. I've left a few of the pictures out due to privacy issues.

*Little Guy's Preschool Transition Story*

On Fridays, I like to go to play group. Sometimes, I play with trucks or slide down the slide. I see my friends at play group, and my teachers Miss C., Miss L., and Mr. T are there too. We eat yummy snacks at play group. It is very fun.

When I turn three, I will not go to play group any more. Instead, I will go to a special preschool:


When we walk in, there are chairs for people to sit on:

This is my new classroom:The teacher sits on the red chair, and the children sit on the green chairs for circle time.

This is my new teacher (pic deleted). Her name is Miss L.

After circle time, we sit and do work in a cubby:
Sometimes, we play in the hallway:

And even spend some time outside on the playground:

There is even a place where I can go potty:

I will make some new friends at my new school. I will also get to eat yummy snacks in my new classroom.

When it is time to go to school, Mommy cannot go with me. I will ride a big, yellow bus to my school. After a little while, it will be time to go home, where Mommy will be waiting for me.

I can't wait to go to my new school; it sounds like so much fun!

With Flying Colors

I recently returned from a three day trip to a nearby state. My husband and I drove Sis to a regional swim meet and decided to leave the younger boys behind with my mother. I was extremely worried about Little Guy and how he would handle my absence, especially after the behavior we'd seen during the summer when I was gone quite a bit during a theater production.


Little Guy actually did GREAT while I was away; the only problem my mother faced while caring for him was feeding issues. She told me that the only things Little Guy would eat at her house were: Gogurt, apple juice, oatmeal cookies, and chips. I thought that we'd probably see some delayed reactions at home from Little Guy since we returned, but he's been surprisingly easygoing. The only behavior I've seen is some increased anxiety when I had to leave home today for an appointment, but I think this reaction is normal for his age.

The transition to preschool has also gone remarkably well. His teacher says that Little Guy is happy, focused, and cooperative for most of the class. This is exciting news, as our goal is to move Little Guy from a completely structured, self-contained environment to a more "normal" classroom where he can practice his social skills.

So, my little one has passed through these situations with flying colors. It is such a relief to see him feeling more confident and calm; it will be so nice when I can go places with Little Guy and not worry about when the meltdown will make its unwelcome appearance!

Hello........Goodbye

As I mentioned in my last post, things unexpectedly worked out for Little Guy to begin preschool last Thursday.Little Guy waiting for the bus

I received two phone updates during the class time from his new teacher with good news in each call; Little Guy had a fantastic bus ride, and was extremely cooperative for his teachers during class. It looks like the hours we spent on transition with him really paid off on his first day of school.

On Friday, Little Guy attended his toddler sensory group for the last time. This was a bittersweet moment for me; while I really appreciate the strides my son has made in his development and am glad he's prepared to move on, I feel saddened to leave this great program. I've come to regard the staff members as good friends, and have really enjoyed the camaraderie I've felt with other parents. It's not that this new program won't be as effective. It will just provide support in a different way, focusing on the educational aspects of helping my child rather than stressing the relationships between Little Guy and our family.

Although I tried to prepare Little Guy for his last day of group, I don't believe he understood the finality of the situation. Even though I told Little Guy he wouldn't be seeing his friends (many are going to different schools upon graduation) and teachers anymore, at the end of class he still called out, "See you later, everyone!" I have to admit I grew a little misty eyed, and noticed some of the staff members were also emotional.

But that's life. People enter new stages and situations change; this is what provides experiences which help one to grow and prevents things from becoming stagnant.

Although it's time to say goodbye, I'll never forget the friendships I've forged and the lessons learned from the wonderful program we're leaving. I plan to carry on their mission by taking what I've learned and passing it on to others.

So that they, too, might feel prepared when it's their turn to move forward.

LIfe Comes At You Fast

Life comes at you fast, according to one insurance commercial.

It's amazing how things can change seemingly within the blink of an eye.

It's been a bit of a whirlwind around our house lately, as an unexpected development came about.

The result? I just sent Little Guy to his first day of preschool at his new program.

About 10 minutes ago. On a bus.

Little Guy doesn't even turn three until next week. So how did this happen so soon?

We've spent the last two weeks preparing for this transition, and fully expected it to happen next week. However, it was discovered during his recent IEP (individualized education plan) that due to a family vacation and Thanksgiving break, Little Guy would be unable to start school until 9 days after his birthday if we waited until after he turns three. This would essentially render useless all of the time we'd just spent preparing him for this big transition. The consensus was that it would be best to start Little Guy soon, and we decided to begin this week.

As for the bus, that was initially not in my plans. We live about a mile from the school and I was totally prepared to drive or walk him to and from class. However, in discussing Little Guy's separation issues, the teachers felt that it might be better to initiate the separation at home with something to look forward to (Little Guy LOVES trucks and buses) rather than a drawn-out scene at the school.

I agreed. So I loaded my toddler onto the bus this afternoon, took a few pictures, then kissed his cheek and said goodbye. As I watched the bus drive away, I had to swallow past a big lump in my throat.

I HATE not being there for Little Guy's big first day, sending him into an unknown and threatening (to him) situation without my strength to rely on. But Little Guy needs to begin building his own coping skills because as he grows older, the opportunities for me to physically be there to help him will grow fewer and fewer.

I knew it was coming; it just seemed to happen so quickly. I don't feel ready for this.

It would have been nice if I could have been given a transition plan, too.

Not Yet

As I mentioned last week, Big Guy has determined that he'd really like to spread his wings and move out of the house.

This desire worries me on many levels. Don't get me wrong - our goal is to have Big Guy out on his own and self sufficient at some point. We'd also like this to happen sooner rather than later. So I had a problem: how do I show my son that he's not ready for this step without damaging his already fragile self esteem?

After talking it over with my husband, we decided that a breakdown of finances for Big Guy might be the best route to take. Money is tangible, and something that Big Guy understands well. We sat down with him last night and showed him on paper what it would take for him to be financially self-efficient enough to move into campus housing. Everyone agreed that it's not possible at this point, but we decided it is a distinct possibility for next fall.

This will also give us time to work on the other areas Big Guy will need to improve on, such as practical everyday activities and social skills.

Because when it's time for my young bird to fly the nest, I don't want him to fall.

I want him to SOAR.

Where's the Water?

Part of having Asperger's is the difficulty of understanding abstract thinking. These individuals can be very concrete thinkers and tend to take things quite literally.

Little Guy provided a great example of literal thinking during a recent sensory group.

He and I were playing with a safari set with a teacher standing nearby, observing our interaction. In an attempt to engage Little Guy, I took turns pretending to be the different animals and trying to insert them into his "story". At one point, I grabbed the hippo and said, "Hi, I'm Mr. Hippo and I'm thirsty. Could you show me where the water is?"

Little Guy looked around briefly then turned back to the set, bent over, and deposited a huge glob of spit between two of the plastic rocks. With a huge smile of accomplishment on his face, he said, "There you go, Mr. Hippo."

I heard a snort nearby, and saw the teacher frantically trying to hold in her laughter at Little Guy's unexpected solution.

Next time, I will be very careful about asking my son to find Mr. Hippo some water!

Wednesday's News

This has been a big week for us.

There have been many plans put into place for Little Guy's upcoming transition to preschool. We have already met with a friend in the classroom, spent a little time observing a class, and have a "social story" put together. So far, Little Guy seems to be handling the idea of a new school pretty well. He is also making some GRADUAL steps towards becoming potty trained; we have worked up to wearing underwear a couple of hours a day now with few accidents. I think I'll wait until we have the big change with schools behind us before taking things to the next level.

Big Guy had a good time with his geology class during their trip to Death Valley. However, when he came home, he informed us that he wants to move out. Talk about a bombshell! His father and I aren't enthusiastic about this idea; we don't believe Big Guy is ready for this step yet. Our plan is to sit down with him in the next day or so and write out just exactly what kind of finances it will take to make this work. I'm thinking that Big Guy can't afford it right now....but maybe I'll be the one who's surprised.

Transition Plan

This picture is of Little Guy and Daddy watching Sis compete in one of her three swimming meets last week. We took Little Guy with us all three days; he held out pretty well until Saturday, when he'd finally had enough. I can't say that I blame him - I was pretty tired of at that point, too! We finally resorted to ice cream to keep him happy:

I met with Little Guy's new preschool teacher on Friday, along with Little Guy's current occupational therapist. Together, we put together a transition that I think will work very well.

Some of our plans include:

1. Having me compile a social story for Little Guy. I'm in the process of doing so right now; it should be ready by tomorrow.

2. Letting Little Guy see and explore the classroom when it's empty.

3. Building a relationship with his new teacher.

4. Holding a few of his appointments with current staff members in the new classroom instead of our home or the old program's site.

5. Meeting and playing with a friend in the new classroom.

6. Letting Little Guy observe a class for a while.

7. Having me observe a class WITHOUT Little Guy.

We begin our plan tomorrow by meeting in the classroom with a neighbor whose child recently began attending the preschool. I believe these steps will help Little Guy's transition to the preschool program be a smoother one, and I'm anxious to begin the process.

Making It Brief

This post, that is. Sis has just started her fall swimming season with three meets scheduled this week. Talk about "diving" right in :)

Big Guy left with his geology class today for a three day trip to Death Valley. He has shown a greater desire to be organized, and began a written schedule of his days all on his own. This is wonderful, although Big Guy needs to careful to allow some flexibility in case something unforeseen happens like getting called into work.

Little Guy has had a great week overall. He seems more relaxed at home, leading to a desire to be playful and more affectionate. Little Guy attended a swim meet with us yesterday, and handled the noise and crowd fairly well. In order to help him stay regulated I made sure he had a nap beforehand, brought plenty of snacks, and took him on frequent walks. We are attending another meet later today; I hope Little Guy tolerates this one well!

I have a transition meeting set up today with Little Guy's new teacher, myself, and his current occupational therapist. I'll let you know what we decide.

"Driving" Me Crazy

Kids with Asperger's Syndrome can be sticklers when it comes to rules.

Game playing must be done with the strictest adherence to the guidelines.....or WATCH OUT.

Driving can the same way - even if the Asperger child is not the one behind the wheel.

I'd heard of cases where AS kids constantly peer over their parents' shoulders as they drive, checking that the car's speed doesn't exceed the speed limit. We never experienced this with Big Guy, as he was always off in his own little world (reading, playing Game Boy) while in the car. However, we are already starting to see an obsessive pattern emerging with Little Guy.

Little Guy knows where all of the stop signs are in our neighborhood, and this past week he has begun to warn me 1/2 block in advance to slow down and prepare to stop. This behavior has begun to translate to traffic lights, as well.

For example, just yesterday Little Guy had this to say as I pulled up to a stoplight, "Mama, the light is red now, so we can't go. We have to wait for it to turn green."

It's cute right now, but I have a feeling it could grow annoying very quickly!

And the Verdict Is.....

We received word today that Little Guy qualified for the district preschool.

Whew!

In order to qualify, a child must show one of the following: a) mild delays in three areas b) moderate delays in two areas, or c) severe delays in one area. Little Guy actually showed severe delays in two areas: adaptive (self-help) and social/emotional.

However, some things I've learned about the program concern me. The protocol this school uses is ABA based; Little Guy is used to the "Floortime" approach. What will be the best way to help him transition between these two programs? Also, the school uses the same program for every child, regardless of their disability. This means my son will have the same curriculum as someone with Down's Syndrome or cerebral palsy. Each of these disabilities are quite different from another; is the school prepared and willing to make the necessary adjustments for Little Guy's strengths and weaknesses? There are certain things which help my child stay regulated and cooperative such as counting to five when preparing to transition to a new activity. Will the teacher incorporate this simple action in her classroom? There are also three levels the children can be placed in; level one is basically one-on-one isolation, whereas level three is in a more regular classroom setting with several peers. My understanding is they like to place new students in level one to begin with, but would this really be the best level for Little Guy as we are trying to get him to interact with larger groups of children?

Although I'm happy with today's news, I've been left with many questions. I look forward to meeting with Little Guy's new teacher next week to discuss what the future holds as we prepare for this big transition.

Wednesday on Thursday

I'm such a slacker.

I totally blew off my "Wonderful Wednesday" report; so today, you'll be getting Wednesday on Thursday.

Anybody confused yet?

My wonderful news of the week has to do with the behavior of both of our "Aspie" boys during our recent mini vacation.

This is Big Guy hungrily checking out a chocolate fountain during our recent trip to Las Vegas.

Our kids had Monday off of school, so we decided to plan an overnight trip to Vegas. First of all, Big Guy chose to come with us. Yeah!! Now that he's 18, he doesn't often elect to go on family outings. And not only did Big Guy come with us, but he actually participated in the family activities. Double yeah!! Big Guy tends to be somewhat reclusive; even while at home, he is often tucked away in his room reading books or playing video games. Although the books and Nintendo DS came along on the trip, Big Guy was very good about only using them while we were driving in the car. It was so much fun to have him join us; we really enjoyed Big Guy's quirky sense of humor that he applies to many situations.

Little Guy also weathered the trip well - something that does not happen on a regular basis when we travel. He did have his moments, but was able to stay fairly regulated most of the time. I was a little concerned with how Little Guy would handle our visit to an indoor adventure park, but luckily there were no crowds and our toddler actually enjoyed the rides instead of becoming overwhelmed. This was a big step for him!

Tomorrow is our eligibility meeting; I'll post later in the day with a report on how things went.

Day of Reckoning

We have word on Little Guy's qualification meeting.

It will be held this Friday.

My feeling is Little Guy will show deficiencies in the Emotional/Behavioral and Self Help portions of the tests. In order to qualify, he must be at least moderately behind in both areas.

All we can do now is wait.....and hope.

What's the Difference?

Many times as I've described Asperger traits to other parents - especially those who have toddlers - they express that their child does some of those things too. So, what's the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown?

This is Little Guy having a major meltdown during a recent family outing.

The truth is, some of the problem behaviors found on the autism spectrum are similar to what many caretakers see during the "terrible twos"; the difference is in the intensity and frequency of the autistic behaviors. A good example of this would be Little Guy's eating habits. Many toddlers are notorious for being picky eaters at times, but I can count ON ONE HAND the foods I know my son will eat. In fact, Little Guy is so sensitive that if his preferred foods are not a certain brand he WILL NOT EAT them. Someone once suggested if I let him go hungry for a while, Little Guy would eat food out of hunger. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. Little Guy is not refusing foods to be contrary or stubborn; most foods seem repulsive to him due to the sight, texture, smell, or other sensory issues. No amount of bribing, tricking, or cajoling has helped remedy this behavior. It impacts our family on a daily basis; it affects my shopping, our choices of restaurants when we go out to eat as a family, and how I plan for trips.

Another way to gauge if a child is at risk for being diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder is whether he has the majority of the markers, or just a few. For example, Middle Guy was also a picky eater and liked to line things up as a toddler - two markers experts look for in diagnosing autism. Yet, Middle Guy exhibited no other concerning behavior, and it is very clear at this time that he is definitely not anywhere close to being on the spectrum.

So again, when a child has a few behaviors that are similar to those on the spectrum there's no reason to automatically worry. A good indication of concern is how many of the behaviors a child exhibits, how often they occur, and how intense the behaviors are. Another good question to ask yourself is if the behavior impacts or disrupts your family on a daily basis. If so, it could indicate an underlying problem such as an autistic spectrum disorder.

However, if you feel uncomfortable or unsure about your child's behavior, the best thing to do is to talk about it with your child's doctor or a developmental specialist; because the earlier a diagnosis is made, the better the outcome can be.

WONDERFUL Wednesday

Things have been MUCH better with our Asperger boys this week, so I didn't have to look too far to find "wonderful" things to report.

Big Guy is showing great initiative in his newest college class, CIS (computer information systems). Much of the work is done outside the classroom setting, with regular deadlines set for the chapters. Big Guy has completed each section well before it's due, and has even set aside time on his "off" days to go to the computer lab and work on his assignments. He was also called in to work four days last week, after not working at all the week before.

Little Guy made some progress with eating. During Sunday dinner, he sat at the table with us and actually ate one of the foods the rest of the family was eating - rice. We usually end up bringing out yogurt or applesauce after we offer him whatever the rest of the family is eating, so this was a big step. Little Guy is still wanting to sit on the toilet 1-2 times a day, and I'm thinking about breaking out the underwear again in another week or so. Hopefully, he's grown more accustomed to the toilet and won't feel so anxious this time around.

It's been two weeks and two days since Little Guy's preschool evaluation, and I have yet to hear from the school. I put in a phone call today and hope it will get the ball rolling. With Little Guy's third birthday only 5 weeks away, we are cutting it close for our goal of four weeks for transition between the toddler and preschool programs.

Reunion

My husband's side of the family had a reunion yesterday at a natural springs resort.

There were some family members in attendance who live several hours away, and I was anxious to "show off" my children to them - especially Little Guy, as they have not seen him very often.

Unfortunately, things did not go as I had hoped. This is how Little Guy spent most of the day:.....running away and avoiding other people. That, and crying.

The few times when Little Guy was with everyone, he was very disregulated. He cried in the pool whenever he was accidentally splashed. He cried when the group played games and the noise level grew too loud. He cried when the other kids inadvertently bumped him. He cried when it was time too eat because we didn't have yogurt.

He cried a LOT.

And when he wasn't crying, he sought to distance himself from the crowd:

Maybe things didn't go according to plan, but it did give me the opportunity to explain Little Guy's diagnosis to some of the other relatives. They were very understanding and asked many questions about what Asperger's Syndrome is and how it affects our family.

I just hope that next time we get together, Little Guy won't be as anxious. I would really like the extended family members to see the endearing, funny, and intelligent personality that can be often obscured by the layers of his autistic spectrum disorder.

But it's comforting to know our family is prepared to accept Little Guy - no matter what side is showing itself.

Searching for Wonderful

Today's "Wonderful Wednesday" has been difficult for me. We've had a trying week with our Aspie boys, and I've really had to dig deep and get creative to find the positive things I'd like to post about them.

Little Guy's disposition is definitely a happier one since we've returned home, although he is having a hard time if I'm not here. He continues to show some interest in using the toilet but only on his terms. Little Guy also tried a new food at his class yesterday - french toast sticks. He ended up eating three servings!

As for Big Guy........he continues to stay on top of his class schedule and homework, although he's gotten some very poor scores on a few of his assignments due to not listening to and following through with the teacher's instructions. We have also managed to avoid any further haircut issues with Big Guy (see last Wednesday's post for details) :)

I know these events are not earth shattering......but it's the best I could do with a bad week. I'm hoping the coming days will be much better!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

We were out of town with our family this weekend and had a chance to experience the good, the bad, and the ugly when it came to the behavior of our youngest son.

THE GOOD: Or perhaps I should say the "incredible". There was an 18 hour span of time when Little Guy had a dry diaper. Every time I went to change him and discovered he was dry, Little Guy wanted to sit on the toilet. It was crazy that we made strides with potty training while traveling; usually, this is the time when toddlers regress.

THE BAD: Little Guy has a hard time sleeping away from home, and this time was no exception. Although I stayed in his room, he had two very restless nights.

THE UGLY: This describes Little Guy's regulation while we were away. We really struggled with anxiety issues, and Little Guy ended up screaming and acting oppositional most of the time. I had my husband with me; even with two of us we felt we could barely handle him, his behavior was so disregulated.

We had been discussing the possibility of an extended family later this year, but after this weekend we are seriously re-evaluating the situation. It may have to wait until Little Guy gets a little older and is better equipped to handle the many uncertainties that a vacation brings to his schedule.

Fabulous Friday

I hope everyone is having a fabulous fall Friday!

Once again, it's time to share good news about my Aspie boys. I'm keeping it brief, as our family is headed out of town today to support Sis in an important competition.

Big Guy did something very encouraging on the social front; he went on another date. He and another student in his Geology struck up a conversation after class that was just too interesting to complete in a short time, so Big Guy suggested they continue talking over lunch. Apparently, they continued to have a great time while eating; when my son came home, he was pretty proud of himself :)

As for Little Guy, I was worried after Monday's meltdowns that his disregulated behavior would continue into the week. Thankfully, things have been much better on the home front! I'm still waiting to hear back from the preschool concerning qualification.

Here's hoping the rest of the weekend proves "fabulous"!

"What Were You Thinking??" Wednesday

I know it's supposed to be a "Wonderful Wednesday"; I promise I'll do a "Terrific Thursday" tomorrow.

However, something happened with Big Guy recently that just screamed "post".

I was tidying up the family room yesterday when Big Guy walked into the kitchen. He turned around to get something out of the cupboard, when I noticed a bald patch on the back of his head roughly the size of a quarter. We have cats, so immediately I thought of ringworm.

"What happened to your hair?" I exclaimed as I walked over to examine the patch more closely. Big Guy's hand shot up to cover the spot, and he turned around to face me.

"You mean it's noticeable?" he asked with a puzzled expression.

Um, yeah.....it was VERY noticeable as the hair was absent all the way to the scalp. As Big Guy didn't seem surprised that something was up with his hair, I asked him what he had done.

He explained that he had discovered a "rough patch" in is hair two days before. Big Guy tried scrubbing it out with shampoo without luck. The next morning he felt like the patch had grown bigger and again tried shampooing it out, to no avail. Concerned, he decided he'd better do something about his hair right away - so he cut it off.

All the way to the scalp.

And, he'd attended his college classes all day with his bald patch.

Luckily, Big Guy was able to go to the cosmetology school and get it fixed; he is now sporting a very nice-looking crew cut.

This experience showcases the stumbling blocks Big Guy sometimes has with decision making. He can grow so fixated on one aspect of a problem that it is difficult for him to see the big picture, which predisposes him acts on his impulses. Big Guy also has a hard time with organizational skills, which makes it tough for him to think things through in a logical, workable order. While this incident left me shaking my head and was somewhat on the humorous side, it worries me about what might happen if Big Guy makes a poor decision at work that puts his job on the line. Or even worse, if he makes a terrible mistake while driving and puts a life on the line.

Not everything can be fixed with a new haircut.

Wish Granted

Have you ever made a wish that you really wanted to come true?

When I was a child, I believed that if I blew really hard on a dandelion and made all the fluff leave its head, then my wish would come true:

I shot this picture two days ago while on a family outing in the mountains. While I chose not to blow on the dandelion head and scatter its seeds, I did have an important wish come true today.

Today was a day I had been looking forward to with some trepidation.

Today was Little Guy's qualification assessment for the district preschool.

Little Guy is very complicated. Because he is so intelligent and can speak extremely well, it sometimes masks his deficiencies - especially if he is having a "good" day; that is, if he is mostly regulated and happy.

My wish was that Little Guy's worrisome behaviors would manifest themselves during testing so that he can get the support he needs as he prepares for school.

My wish was granted. Today was NOT a "good" day for Little Guy.

During the assessment, there were issues with frustration, transitions, fixations, compulsions, and meltdowns - just to name a few. In fact, Little Guy became so disregulated and uncooperative near the end that the psychologist had to discontinue the test. It was very exhausting and somewhat embarrassing trying to handle his behavior, but I believe it gave the psychologist a good picture of what we experience with Little Guy on a daily basis.

In fact, at one point she said,"I think these classes and our program will be really beneficial for your son in helping him prepare for the public school setting." I don't think the psychologist would have made this statement unless she felt that Little Guy is a good candidate for their program.

It can take up to two weeks to hear back from the school; I'm hoping it will be sooner so we can have additional time to help Little Guy transition to this new environment.

I'll keep you updated.

A Big Day Tomorrow

I'm going to keep this short and sweet as I'm very tired and we have a big day tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the day when Little Guy has his evaluation to determine whether or not he qualifies for services on a preschool level from the school district. He will be evaluated in three areas: social and emotional behavior, self-help, and fine motor skills. I opted not to have him tested on his communication and cognitive skills as these are his strengths (we already know he's very advanced in these areas).

I feel very conflicted; part of me wants Little Guy to do well, while another part hopes that his autistic tendancies are strong tomorrow so that he will receive the services he needs.

We let you know how it goes.

A Testing Thursday

I've gone with a literal title for today's post; I'm planning to discuss tangible tests rather than trials of patience.

Although, we've had a little bit of that as well around our place.

And the picture? It has nothing to do with the topic of this post....I just added it because I realized it had been a while since I'd posted a picture of Big Guy on my blog. This was taken last year, when he had to dress as a hippie for a theater class at school.

Anyway. This week's good news centers around some positive results my Aspie boys had with various tests. I mentioned in my last post how Big Guy aced his history test. Well, he just got the results of his first geology test back and he came in second highest in the class!! It looks like this course will remain on his schedule :)

Little Guy is gearing up for his preschool qualification tests, which began with a vision screening today. There has been some concern in the past about some weak muscles in his right eye which could develop into "lazy eye", but it now looks as if the eye has corrected itself on its own. This is great news! I know it's not the end of the world if a child has a lazy eye, but Little Guy was born with bilateral clubfeet and was subjected to casts, surgeries, and braces until he was 27 months old. I'd like to see the poor kid get a break from medical intervention for awhile!

Highs and Lows

No, I'm not talking about today's temperatures.

I'm referring to the roller coaster ride we constantly experience as we deal with two sons who have Asperger's Syndrome.

Yesterday was a classic example with Big Guy. The high: He aced his history test in his college class. Big Guy enjoys this subject, and he is quite knowledgeable about it in general. As a result, he is motivated to study and try hard to do well in this class.

The low? Big Guy announced he was close to failing his math class and wanted to drop it. Math is something that Big Guy detests (his words) and has to work a little harder at in order to be successful. As a result, he is less motivated to do well in this class. Other factors contributing to this dilemma are the fact that he didn't take advantage of using a tutor, didn't buy a graphing calculator, and took a once weekly math class that lasted three hours (not good for someone with attention issues) which had double the work load between sessions (not good for someone who does things last minute).

We explained to Big Guy that this is only a temporary solution, as this math class is needed in order to get his degree. We talked through the issues listed above, and jointly came up with a plan to make the next math venture a successful one. Dropping this class puts Big Guy below full-time credit hours, so he will be picking up a block class in a couple of weeks - Intro to Computers, which is also a basic requirement for graduation. I feel this is a class that Big Guy can handle in a condensed session as he is very computer savvy AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT HE"S INTERESTED IN.

I hope that Big Guy has learned some valuable lessons in this experience, especially those that concern pitfalls to avoid in the future as he's planning his class schedule. I'm just glad that he realized he was in over his head before it was too late to drop the class.