"What Were You Thinking??" Wednesday

I know it's supposed to be a "Wonderful Wednesday"; I promise I'll do a "Terrific Thursday" tomorrow.

However, something happened with Big Guy recently that just screamed "post".

I was tidying up the family room yesterday when Big Guy walked into the kitchen. He turned around to get something out of the cupboard, when I noticed a bald patch on the back of his head roughly the size of a quarter. We have cats, so immediately I thought of ringworm.

"What happened to your hair?" I exclaimed as I walked over to examine the patch more closely. Big Guy's hand shot up to cover the spot, and he turned around to face me.

"You mean it's noticeable?" he asked with a puzzled expression.

Um, yeah.....it was VERY noticeable as the hair was absent all the way to the scalp. As Big Guy didn't seem surprised that something was up with his hair, I asked him what he had done.

He explained that he had discovered a "rough patch" in is hair two days before. Big Guy tried scrubbing it out with shampoo without luck. The next morning he felt like the patch had grown bigger and again tried shampooing it out, to no avail. Concerned, he decided he'd better do something about his hair right away - so he cut it off.

All the way to the scalp.

And, he'd attended his college classes all day with his bald patch.

Luckily, Big Guy was able to go to the cosmetology school and get it fixed; he is now sporting a very nice-looking crew cut.

This experience showcases the stumbling blocks Big Guy sometimes has with decision making. He can grow so fixated on one aspect of a problem that it is difficult for him to see the big picture, which predisposes him acts on his impulses. Big Guy also has a hard time with organizational skills, which makes it tough for him to think things through in a logical, workable order. While this incident left me shaking my head and was somewhat on the humorous side, it worries me about what might happen if Big Guy makes a poor decision at work that puts his job on the line. Or even worse, if he makes a terrible mistake while driving and puts a life on the line.

Not everything can be fixed with a new haircut.

Wish Granted

Have you ever made a wish that you really wanted to come true?

When I was a child, I believed that if I blew really hard on a dandelion and made all the fluff leave its head, then my wish would come true:

I shot this picture two days ago while on a family outing in the mountains. While I chose not to blow on the dandelion head and scatter its seeds, I did have an important wish come true today.

Today was a day I had been looking forward to with some trepidation.

Today was Little Guy's qualification assessment for the district preschool.

Little Guy is very complicated. Because he is so intelligent and can speak extremely well, it sometimes masks his deficiencies - especially if he is having a "good" day; that is, if he is mostly regulated and happy.

My wish was that Little Guy's worrisome behaviors would manifest themselves during testing so that he can get the support he needs as he prepares for school.

My wish was granted. Today was NOT a "good" day for Little Guy.

During the assessment, there were issues with frustration, transitions, fixations, compulsions, and meltdowns - just to name a few. In fact, Little Guy became so disregulated and uncooperative near the end that the psychologist had to discontinue the test. It was very exhausting and somewhat embarrassing trying to handle his behavior, but I believe it gave the psychologist a good picture of what we experience with Little Guy on a daily basis.

In fact, at one point she said,"I think these classes and our program will be really beneficial for your son in helping him prepare for the public school setting." I don't think the psychologist would have made this statement unless she felt that Little Guy is a good candidate for their program.

It can take up to two weeks to hear back from the school; I'm hoping it will be sooner so we can have additional time to help Little Guy transition to this new environment.

I'll keep you updated.

A Big Day Tomorrow

I'm going to keep this short and sweet as I'm very tired and we have a big day tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the day when Little Guy has his evaluation to determine whether or not he qualifies for services on a preschool level from the school district. He will be evaluated in three areas: social and emotional behavior, self-help, and fine motor skills. I opted not to have him tested on his communication and cognitive skills as these are his strengths (we already know he's very advanced in these areas).

I feel very conflicted; part of me wants Little Guy to do well, while another part hopes that his autistic tendancies are strong tomorrow so that he will receive the services he needs.

We let you know how it goes.

A Testing Thursday

I've gone with a literal title for today's post; I'm planning to discuss tangible tests rather than trials of patience.

Although, we've had a little bit of that as well around our place.

And the picture? It has nothing to do with the topic of this post....I just added it because I realized it had been a while since I'd posted a picture of Big Guy on my blog. This was taken last year, when he had to dress as a hippie for a theater class at school.

Anyway. This week's good news centers around some positive results my Aspie boys had with various tests. I mentioned in my last post how Big Guy aced his history test. Well, he just got the results of his first geology test back and he came in second highest in the class!! It looks like this course will remain on his schedule :)

Little Guy is gearing up for his preschool qualification tests, which began with a vision screening today. There has been some concern in the past about some weak muscles in his right eye which could develop into "lazy eye", but it now looks as if the eye has corrected itself on its own. This is great news! I know it's not the end of the world if a child has a lazy eye, but Little Guy was born with bilateral clubfeet and was subjected to casts, surgeries, and braces until he was 27 months old. I'd like to see the poor kid get a break from medical intervention for awhile!

Highs and Lows

No, I'm not talking about today's temperatures.

I'm referring to the roller coaster ride we constantly experience as we deal with two sons who have Asperger's Syndrome.

Yesterday was a classic example with Big Guy. The high: He aced his history test in his college class. Big Guy enjoys this subject, and he is quite knowledgeable about it in general. As a result, he is motivated to study and try hard to do well in this class.

The low? Big Guy announced he was close to failing his math class and wanted to drop it. Math is something that Big Guy detests (his words) and has to work a little harder at in order to be successful. As a result, he is less motivated to do well in this class. Other factors contributing to this dilemma are the fact that he didn't take advantage of using a tutor, didn't buy a graphing calculator, and took a once weekly math class that lasted three hours (not good for someone with attention issues) which had double the work load between sessions (not good for someone who does things last minute).

We explained to Big Guy that this is only a temporary solution, as this math class is needed in order to get his degree. We talked through the issues listed above, and jointly came up with a plan to make the next math venture a successful one. Dropping this class puts Big Guy below full-time credit hours, so he will be picking up a block class in a couple of weeks - Intro to Computers, which is also a basic requirement for graduation. I feel this is a class that Big Guy can handle in a condensed session as he is very computer savvy AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT HE"S INTERESTED IN.

I hope that Big Guy has learned some valuable lessons in this experience, especially those that concern pitfalls to avoid in the future as he's planning his class schedule. I'm just glad that he realized he was in over his head before it was too late to drop the class.

The Big Reveal

When I first began this blog, I mentioned the fact that very few of my friends and family knew about its existence.

Even my husband didn't know about it, the reason being that he was in denial about Little Guy's diagnosis. Every time I would bring up a concern to him, he thought I was overreacting and didn't want to talk about it.
(my husband and Little Guy, taken about one year ago)

Which is one reason I started this blog - so I could have a place where I could "talk" about my frustrations and concerns.

Things have now changed; my husband is on board totally and 100% with what is going on with our youngest child. For the past couple of weeks, the thought was in the back of my mind that I should let him in on this secret blog. I envisioned exactly what I wanted to do and planned to post several tantalizing tidbits about my progress on the "big reveal".

These grand schemes came tumbling down a couple of nights ago when my husband walked in unexpectedly as I was typing my last post and wondered what I was doing.

Here it was, the moment of truth. I felt the time was right, so I confessed that I actually have two blogs. He thought a moment, then said, "Oh, you mean the one where you've given our kids nicknames like 'Big Guy'?"

What??!!

Apparently, my husband had stumbled across this blog once before when checking the history on our computer - something we like to do from time to time to ensure our children are only using appropriate websites. He didn't seem to know much more about it, so I briefly filled him in about what the site entailed. When he asked why I hadn't told him earlier about the site, I truthfully told him the same reason I mentioned above.

And that was that.

All of this "sneaking around" for a couple of months..... while my husband knew about the existence of this blog all along. Apparently, I'd make a terrible detective or federal agent.

How will this affect my blog?

It won't - I plan on being as straightforward and honest as before. Only now, I can do so with having a squeaky clean conscience :)

Wondrous Words of Wednesday

If you're wondering about the title, I thought I'd spice things up with some alliteration. And are you impressed that I'm posting my "Wonderful Wednesday" news on an actual Wednesday this time?

Big Guy is gearing up for an overnight visit from a special friend from our former hometown. Big Guy is quite a homebody and seldom invites people over, so when he does it is something to celebrate. This individual is the oldest and closest friend Big Guy has; they first met each other in kindergarten. It was devastating to my son when we had to move away from this person. Circumstances have since brought us to within an hour's distance from our old community, which allows Big Guy to visit with this friend from time to time. They both happen to have Thursdays off of school, which will give them plenty of time to spend time together.

I was able to pull some strings concerning Little Guy's upcoming qualification meetings for the district preschool. My biggest concern has been giving Little Guy time to transition between the two programs while we still have our original team of teachers and therapists to help. The individuals I spoke with at the district school have been very understanding and willing to listen to my concerns while accommodating my desire for an earlier testing date. Little Guy is scheduled for testing on the 24th and 28th of this month. This is such a relief to me, as I believe this will set Little Guy up for a successful transition to a new staff and surroundings.

I hope that all who are reading this post will have their own things to celebrate today!

My Little Shadow

I have a shadow that follows me EVERYWHERE.

I have a regular shadow like everyone else, but the shadow I'm talking about in this post is a living, breathing, 3 feet tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed variety:


This shadow seldom leaves my side.

Little Guy definitely prefers me over anyone else and constantly relies on me to read his cues and help him stay regulated. The smallest changes in routine can create a huge meltdown, and running errands oftentimes can be a huge challenge. I guess I should feel flattered that Little Guy loves me so much, but being with a high maintenance toddler 24/7 can get EXHAUSTING.

However, something happened the other day that made me realize what I do for Little Guy does make a difference - even if I don't see the results right away. I was busy putting some dishes away and Little Guy was "helping" me when I suddenly realized he was repeating something over and over to himself.

As I listened closer, my heart started to melt at what I was hearing. My little shadow was saying, "Little Guy and Mom are BEST friends. We friends, we best friends."

What a priceless return for my efforts!

Splendid Saturday

This picture has little to do with the post; I just added it because it captures a moment of fun had by the Little, Middle, and Big Guys on a recent hike.

Once again, I totally blew off Wednesday (okay, not totally as that was my "catch up" post) and cruised past Thursday and Friday. So, it's time for a "splendid" Saturday.

Why is it splendid? Because I get to share the progress my Aspie boys have made during the week!

Little Guy's news is very exciting. After a disappointing try at potty training, I had decided to stop pushing it for a while....and twice in the last three days, Little Guy has recognized on his own the need to go and has actually asked to sit on the toilet. Hallelujah! There is hope, after all :) I'm hoping it happens before his third birthday, which is about two months away. We'll just have to wait and see if this is also Little Guy's agenda!

Big Guy has begun volunteering at the college's DRC - Disability Resource Center. In return, he gets to use a laptop to take to his classes. Normally, the kids with disabilities don't have to "work" for their hardware, but Big Guy is a special case. You see, he refuses to register with the DRC - the reason being is that he's convinced he doesn't have Asperger's Syndrome. It's a long story how this perception came about; it's a mixture of having such a late diagnosis mixed with a well-meaning psychiatrist who told Big Guy that he was "outgrowing" Asperger's. Um, one doesn't "outgrow" Asperger's. I think she was trying to preserve Big Guy's self-esteem, but I wish this doctor had found a different way of approaching it. Anyway, the director of the DRC works with my husband at the college, and is aware of Big Guy's diagnosis and the difficulty he faces in taking handwritten notes during class due to his poor handwriting skills. She came up with this plan, and I have to admit that I LIKE it. I love the fact that Big Guy is able to use his strengths to help others in need (like reading to blind students) while having his own needs addressed in return - especially since he doesn't recognize them.

It's definitely a win-win situation.

Catching Up

I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do, and not just on my blogs. My graduating class had their 20th reunion this past weekend, and guess who was in charge of it?

You guessed it - ME.

I am finally feeling somewhat recovered and ready to re-enter the world again :)

As a result of being busy most of the weekend, we've seen some regression in Little Guy's behavior. I am trying to be extra patient and attentive with him while our schedule evens out again.

And the potty training?

Literally a no go. We'll try it again next month.

Big Guy continues to do well on the academic front. However, he said something to my mother-in-law recently that illustrates how clueless he is about what it will take for him to live on his own.

The conversation went something like this:

Grandma: How's college going, Big Guy?

Big Guy: Fine.

Grandma: Do you like living at home?

Big Guy: Yes, but my parents are making me do some things to help me prepare to live on my own. It's pretty tough.

Grandma: Oh? What is it they are having you do?

Big Guy: First of all, I have to pay them lots of rent.

(Author's note: Big Guy is paying a grand total of $50 in rent per month, starting this month)

Big Guy: And I have to do all of my own laundry.

(Author's note: Hasn't happened before this week)

Big Guy: And since my mom told me I couldn't eat lunch at home anymore, I have to buy lunch at the college and it is really expensive.

(Author's note: What??!! I told Big Guy that on the days he has classes from 9-2 [only twice a week], he might want to eat at the school to save time. Somehow, this has translated as me telling him he couldn't eat lunch at home anymore.)

Grandma: Hmmm.

Big Guy: I thought it would be easy living at home.

(Author's note: Someone has a big dose of reality headed their way in the future...)

Wow....it's Wednesday!

Wow, it's Wednesday!

Time to celebrate what my Aspie boys have accomplished this week.

As stated in my last post, Little Guy has been subjected to several hours of encouragement (not to mention many cups of juice) and enticing rewards in an effort to begin potty training. I wish my news was that he is totally there, but it's become apparent this is going to be a very slow and gradual process - which is the norm for him when he transitions to new ideas. The bright side is that we have had two "successes" each of the past three days, which I feel is a great place to be at this point.

Big Guy was given more hours at work this week, and received a nice compliment from a manager. He was told that he was twice as fast at the "prep" work than the other employees. Big Guy had mixed feelings about this; prep work is the least favorite component of his job and he doesn't want to be stuck doing it all the time, but he's grateful that this skill will provide him greater job security. Big Guy is still doing well with his college classes and has organized his schedule admirably thus far.

I hope it stays that way :)