Guilt

I know it's been a week since you last heard from me.

It's not that we haven't had anything blog worthy happening....it's just that I've been so *darn busy. (*Just thought I'd slip in Little Guy's new favorite word!)

The guilt I'm feeling is not caused by my blogging hiatus (okay, maybe just a little of it is), but rather from the extended time I've spent away from home for most of the summer.

Let me clarify. I've been IN TOWN, but just not at home as much as I usually am. And what is the reason, you ask? Middle Guy and I were cast in a community theater production and have been crazy busy with rehearsals and performances. The past few weeks have been especially stressful, with five hour rehearsals six days a week.

It's been hard. As a SAHM, I salute the many mothers out there who balance a full time job with responsibilities at home. However, this project has provided me with a much needed creative outlet, and more importantly, has allowed me to spend some one-on-one time with Middle Guy.

However, things are starting to fall apart with Little Guy. He has largely handled this disruption of schedule very admirably, but the past few days we've seen some regression in his regulation and behavior. I feel terrible, but what can I do? I was definitely overdue for some "me" time; the last time I did anything like this was four years ago, before I became pregnant with Little Guy. I also feel that our middle children often get the short end of the stick when it comes to getting attention from Mom because they don't have special needs. Does spending extra time with them come at the cost of the progress we've made, especially with Little Guy?

Needless to say, the past few days have been quite difficult for me as I try to juggle the needs of various family members while maintaining my sanity. I know there's not an easy solution for this situation, but I'm doing the best I can.