Something Good

Although my life is often filled with instances like the one from last post, there are moments of progress with Little Guy.  Good moments that fill me with hope and give cause for celebration.

Something good happened recently while we were at the neighborhood park.  We'd arrived hoping to find some of Little Guy's friends, but there was no one we knew.  Little Guy hung out by the splash pad, looking at the other kids longingly.  He finally told me he wished he had someone to play with, so I encouraged him to find some friends.

He was hesitant at first, but then began approaching some of the other youngsters.  I watched, intrigued, wondering what Little Guy would do.  His initial overtures were rebuffed because of his inability to realize the importance of eye contact in socialization; most of his efforts were made when the other kids' heads were turned or they were busy doing other things.

"Nobody wants to be my friend," he said in discouragement, approaching the bench where I sat.  I assured him that wasn't true, and offered new suggestions for him to try.  Little Guy headed out once again, but I could tell he was skeptical.  He zeroed in on a couple of kids playing on the grass behind me, approaching them cautiously.

They were busily jumping over a small, covered PVC pipe sticking up out of the grass and obviously having a great time.  Little Guy tried to engage one of them, but again chose an inopportune way and time.  The child failed to recognize his overtures, and my son was on the brink of failure again.  He glanced my way, but instead of running to me for help, he studied the situation for a moment before coming up with his own solution.

Without saying a word, Little Guy walked over to the pipe and stood on it.  Suddenly, he toppled off while waving his arms and legs, having pretended to "slip".  The other kids started laughing, then eagerly jumped in to play the new game.  Little Guy was soon talking and engaging with his "friends", and I was so proud of him for figuring out - entirely on his own - how to overcome his social dilemma.

Here's to progress!

The Best of Intentions

Little Guy has been blessed with a wonderful older brother, Middle Guy:



And while things aren't always perfect between them, Middle Guy can usually be counted on to look out for his little brother with love and patience.  When possible, he tries his hardest to include him in his activities and even goes above and beyond by trying to plan special events he feels Little Guy would like.

Unfortunately, even the best of intentions can sometimes go wrong when dealing with someone on the spectrum.

There have been recent occasions when Middle Guy's efforts have "backfired".  The worst was about a month ago, when he decided to spend some of his money to buy Little Guy a small lego set he wanted.  Middle Guy doesn't have a job, so his money is hard to come by, and he tends to be quite protective of it.  However, he and his little brother share a love of legos, so Middle Guy decided to generously help Little Guy build his own collection. 

The drama started at the store; they didn't carry the exact set Little Guy wanted.  Middle Guy was able to persuade his younger brother into going with a different set, but upon inspection of the box, he discovered it had been opened.  None of the bags with lego pieces inside had been opened, but there was no way of knowing if all the bags were present.  It was the only one on the shelf, so it couldn't be swapped out, and Little Guy was VERY adament it was the one he wanted.  Middle Guy ended up purchasing it, but showed the opened end to the cashier and was told he could return it if any pieces were missing. 

Little Guy wanted his brother to begin working on it the minute we arrived home.  We walked into the kitchen, were I began cooking dinner and Middle Guy started building the set.  Within five minutes, it was apparent that pieces were indeed missing.

That's when things came apart.

Little Guy began screaming and crying, insisting that his brother "fix" the problem.  While Middle Guy is a whiz at lego construction, the missing pieces were highly specialized and there was nothing in our spare lego bucket to fix it with.  Little Guy started grabbing pieces off the table, taking them into his room and trying to hide them in different places.  Middle Guy tried to reason with him, telling him he needed to return the pieces so we could take it back to the store and get a new set.  Little Guy began to hold the pieces tightly in his hands, to prevent his brother from prying them loose.  He began shouting, "I hate legos, I never want to play with them again!  This is all your fault!" before running into his room and slamming the door in his brother's face.

After talking with a sobbing Little Guy (and getting the pieces from him), I decided it would be best to leave him in his room until he could calm down.  I walked into the kitchen and resumed my dinner preparations, when suddenly I heard a sigh from the table.  I glanced over at Middle Guy, who had his head in his hands.  There were tears in his eyes as he looked at me and said, "I feel like crying, Mom.  I was only trying to do something special for Little Guy, something I thought he'd like."

My heart ached for my son, who had tried so hard to make his little brother happy.  I thanked him for his efforts before gently reminding him that the episode had been triggered by Little Guy's autistic behaviors, and to try not to take it personally.  I ended by telling him what a wonderful brother he is.

Luckily, we were able to exchange the lego set for another that Little Guy fancied - one with ALL the pieces included.  The evening ended on a happier note, although some of the excitement had evaporated from Middle Guy.  I just hope he won't be reluctant to plan special things for his brother in the future; although it may be difficult for Little Guy to express it, I know he treasures the time he spends with his big brother.



Food, Glorious Food

Food.

Or, should I say HEALTHY food.

This is something we constantly struggle with, the challenge of getting nutrition into a sensory-overloaded child.  Think of the pickiest toddler...then times it by ten. Many children start to outgrow their food aversions by the time they're ready to enter public school; not Little Guy.  I am not exaggerating - this kid won't even eat breakfast cereal with milk.

Here is a list of foods I know Little Guy will eat:  gogurt, string cheese, chicken nuggets, jello, fries, hot dogs, pancakes, bacon, garlic bread, and apple juice.

Added to this very short list are the foods he will eat on occasion (if it's a "good" day and he happens to be in the right mood):  peanut butter on bread, ham cubes, skinless apple slices, scrambled eggs, pears, mac and cheese, baby carrot sticks (only one, mind you), and plain spaghetti noodles.

The characteristics which make food appealing to most of us - textures, aromas, flavors - are just too overwhelming for my son.  Unfortunately, his limited diet makes it very tricky to ensure he's getting what he needs to grow and be healthy. 

I'm often forced to be sneaky resourceful when it comes to slipping nutrition into my son's meals.

One of my favorite methods is using Pediasure Sidekicks.  They tend to be strongly flavored, so I mix it with regular milk and call it a "milkshake".  It's a great way to get Little Guy to drink milk, and the "sidekicks" have extra protein and fiber.  I will sometimes make a real milkshake and add bananas or peaches to try and sneak in some extra fruit.  I've also introduced him to "orange fries" - aka sweet potato fries.  It's been a great way to add Vitamin A to his menu.  I've noticed that Little Guy is beginning to experiment with dunking, so I'll buy "apple dunker" packs (gala slices and caramel) at the grocery store.  I can sometimes get Little Guy to try something new by adding ketchup on his plate - even if it's only the tiniest little bite, I count it a success!

As Little Guy grows older, I'm confident his eating preferences will improve.  At least I won't have to worry about school lunch just yet, as Little Guy will attend school only half day as a kindergartner.  After that, I'm suspect we'll be packing lunches of gogurt and string cheese until my son can learn to tolerate - and enjoy - good food :)