Something Simple

Having a child with Asperger's Syndrome can be very disruptive to overall family life, especially if they are having an "off" day.  Although I've become very practiced at anticipating and avoiding what may trigger a meltdown for Little Guy, there are still some things that catch me unawares.  

And usually, it's something simple.

Something like taking a picture.

Middle Guy and Little Guy have needed new pictures for a while now.  I've been meaning to have a quick photo shoot with them, but we just never got around to it.  We were taking a vacation in Northern Utah three weeks ago and happened to be staying at the Homestead in Midway.  With its beautiful grounds and ambiance, I decided it would be a great place to snap a few pictures of my two youngest boys.

I wasn't too worried about Little Guy; I'd given him plenty of advance notice about what we were going to do, there were no crowds or noise issues to set him off, and we weren't in any rush - any of which can escalate his anxiety level.  In fact, I even let him bring some new legos to play with to keep him occupied while photographed his older brother.

Yep, I was pretty confident I had things well in hand. 

The session started off well, and I was able to get some shots I liked:

However, things began to quickly unravel.

Little Guy was losing interest, so I asked Big Guy's help in trying to engage him.  He started to joke around with his little brother - but apparently, Little Guy's tolerance level was paper thin because he immediately fell apart.

Not once,

Not twice,

But three times...

...within a thirty minute period.

I tried to catch Little Guy during his calm times, switching to Middle Guy during the meltdowns.  All I can say is THANK HEAVEN for Photo Shop to help me edit the most of the red out of Little Guy's eyes and face, or else the session would mostly have been a bust.

While our friends and family enjoy the results of our photo shoot by viewing shots like this one,

many won't appreciate the drama it took to get them!

First Day

Today was Little Guy's first day of kindergarten:

I have to admit, I was having a hard time.

Not only because he's my youngest child, but because of the unpredictable nature of his diagnosis.  My husband and I sometimes jokingly refer to our son as our little "Jekyll and Hyde"; sometimes he can be oh so cute, and other times...watch out.  Oh, how I hoped the Jekyll side showed up at school today!

I could tell Little Guy was struggling with some anxiety issues, so I made it a fun, relaxing morning for him.  We played his favorite game, we watched his favorite show. And when he declared he hated first days and wanted to skip them, I gently reminded him that he had to have a first day of school sometime, and it might as well be today because all of the other kindergarten kids would be a little nervous as it was also their first day.  That logic seemed to help him settle down.

After snapping a "first day" pic outside, I took him to lunch.  We decided to skip the bus for today to help cut down on his stress level, so I drove to the school and walked him inside.  There were several other parents also seeing their little ones off; some even looked as anxious as I felt (probably 1st timers).  After a morning of putting on a happy, relaxed face for Little Guy, I walked back into the parking lot with a knot of worry in my stomach and my cell phone ready to answer the call I hoped wouldn't come.

As time passed and no call came, I was able to relax a bit.  Suddenly, I realized it was nearing time to pick him up and STILL NO CALL!

Little Guy greeted me with a smile, eager to share his experience.  Although there had been an incident in computer class where he needed to be moved next to the teacher, there were no tears or major meltdowns.  He even came home with a green ticket!

Yeah - Dr. Jekyll showed up after all :)

I'm sure my confidence with the staff and teachers at Little Guy's school will grow as I get to know them better and they gain time and experience working with my son, helping me to feel less anxious about what might happen while he's there.  Other days might not go as well as today, but all I can say is hooray for a GREAT first day!

The Process

Summer.

It's over.

While the process of readying my kids for their return to school usually fills me with excitement, this year, that excitement is tempered with stress.

It's Little Guy's first stint at public school.  And because we're not coming in from the district preschool, there is nothing put into place for his needs.

Yes, we're starting from scratch.

Actually, not quite from scratch.  I do have documentation of his diagnosis, which is needed before the process of qualification can even begin.  

A week ago last Monday, I called the elementary school and inquired whether my request for an IEP meeting had been passed along to the appropriate people.  I'd submitted my request BACK IN MAY and had yet to hear from anyone.  The next day, a person returned my call to discuss Little Guy's situation and begin the process of qualifying him for services.

Although she was very helpful and seemed concerned about my son, there's a catch...

The qualification process takes 45-60 SCHOOL DAYS.

It could take months before services are available for Little Guy.  In the meantime, what happens if there's a big meltdown or other disruptive situation where he'll need to leave the classroom?  Because it's not a matter of if it happens, but rather when.  What about assemblies, when the noise level and crowded bodies become too much for him to bear?  And then, there's the issue of riding the bus where the noise and crowded space could also spell disaster.

With all of these possibilities looming, I've felt more than a little nervous - especially since an official game plan won't be available for a while.

Luckily, it looks like an "unofficial" game plan is in the works.  While Little Guy cannot access special ed services immediately, I am teaming up with the school counselor and his kindergarten teacher to put other measures into place to deal with any potential problems which may arise.  Hopefully, our combined efforts will help Little Guy have a great start to his public school career!